Short Codes For Senior Texters

seniortextingcodeI know there are a lot of progressive Baby Boomers among us who fully embrace the new technology of texting.   Short codes are always handy and youngsters have a bunch that they use all the time when texting.  Not to be outdone, here are some short codes that will save time when we’re texting:

  • ATD- At the Doctor’s
  • BFF – Best Friend Fell
  • BTW- Bring the Wheelchair
  • BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
  • CBM- Covered by Medicare
  • CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center
  • DWI- Driving While Incontinent
  • FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
  • GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
  • GHA – Got Heartburn Again
  • HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement
  • LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out
  • LOL- Living on Lipitor
  • OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas
  • TOT- Texting on Toilet
  • WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

elderly coupleA couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’, he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’

‘Sure.’

‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’, she asks.

‘No, I can remember it.’

‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so’s not to forget it?’

He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’

‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’, she asks.

Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!’

Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment, shakes her head, then says, ‘Where’s my toast?’

Have a great weekend!  God bless.

U.S.A. Hooked On Prescription Drugs: Be An Outlier!

America on prescription drugsIt’s been pretty well publicized that two-thirds of Americans are either over-weight or obese.  Now comes a recent study by researchers at the Mayo clinic that shows 70% of Americans are also on prescription drugs!  Which ones?  Well, antibiotics, antidepressants, painkilling opiates and cholesterol-lowering drugs top the list, with 20% of the patients being on five or more different meds.  If you wanted to generalize, you could reasonably say we’re a nation of fat drug addicts, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are some direct quotes from people who have chosen a different path:

“My blood pressure is around 110/70, and I’m no longer close to being diabetic.” — Travis Goodrich, who also lost 160 pounds at age 25.

“My former doctor had told me it would be impossible for me to alter my cholesterol levels without statin medication, but I proved him wrong!” — Bill Paterson, who also lost 40 pounds in his 60’s.

“In the three years since I made the change, I haven’t experienced one yeast or urinary tract infection, nor felt bloated or even caught the flu.” — Victoria Fiore, who also lost 50 pounds.

“After just two months, my asthma is gone, my digestion issues have been resolved, and my blood pressure, which previously registered 140/92, is now normal at 110/70. My skin and eyesight have improved and I have also lost 16 pounds to date.” — Kristen Cosgrove

“My blood pressure and cholesterol have reached normal. In 2010, a colonoscopy found precancerous polyps, which prompted a return test in the fall 2012. I went for the test, and to my surprise I had a fully healthy colon! — Russ Thelin , who also lost 45 pounds.

America on prescriptionsThese are just a few examples from the exploding mass of “outliers” who have decided there’s a better way to health than taking prescription drugs.  What’s the common thread?  Read the story below and you’ll see.

Dropping Weight and Feeling Great!

Erin 570x299 Dropping Weight and Feeling Great!Thanks to discovering Forks Over Knives and The Engine 2 Diet, I have dropped 12 pounds in ten weeks, and my cholesterol level has decreased significantly. I have never lost weight this quickly, and I feel great. My goal is to drop another 6 to 8 pounds, and I am well on my way.

About a year and a half ago my OB/GYN told me that my cholesterol was too high (224). The number shocked me! It had never been that high before. And the extra 20 pounds on my 5′4″ frame was not doing me any favors.

After I turned 40 four years ago, I found shedding the pounds to be even more difficult than before. Until I discovered FOK, I tried and tried to drop weight by counting calories and working out like crazy! I lost maybe 3 to 4 pounds, only to put them back on again and again … very frustrating! More often than not, I seemed to develop postnasal drainage, which resulted in a sinus infection and cough. I always felt tired and rundown.

I started my new vegan FOK lifestyle on the first of April this year, and it’s amazing how much better I feel! My cholesterol is 143 … amazing! My sinuses are better, my weight continues to drop effortlessly, I feel more positive about life … and when I see my OB/GYN this fall I will be beaming from ear to ear when she sees my blood test results and my weight!

At 44 years young, I feel fabulous! I don’t miss dairy or meat at all. I feel like I am helping our planet and supporting our organic farmers. My husband is very supportive and has been trying to follow along, as I don’t bring any meat or dairy into the house. And even my parents have joined us—they’ve been vegan now for over six weeks!

Thanks, Forks Over Knives, for making such a difference in my life and the lives of so many others!

God bless

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Immortal Animals?

QuahogAnyone who follows my blog regularly knows that I am fascinated by the concept of aging and all the factors that come into play within this process.  The fact that our life expectancy has just about doubled over the past century should be a wake-up call to everyone and when you throw in the current accelerated rate of breakthrough medical discoveries, the time is coming when both our live’s quality and longevity are about to take a quantum leap.  Doubtful?  Well, check out one of the fastest growing areas of study………..IMMORTAL ANIMALS!  What?  You read it correctly, animals that show “negligible senescence”.  That’s the term used by Caleb Finch, a USC scientist studying the phenomenon, to describe the slow-aging or non-aging process.  The rate of death among these animals does not increase with age.  They do eventually die, but not due to old age, rather from the same causes that kill the younger animals, like predators or disease.  Wikipedia reports: “Strategies for Engineered Negligible Senescence (SENS) is the term coined by British biogerontologist Aubrey de Grey for the diverse range of regenerative medical therapies, either planned or currently in development, for the periodical repair of all age-related damage to human tissue with the ultimate purpose of maintaining a state of negligible senescence in the patient, thereby postponing age-associated disease for as long as the therapies are reapplied.”  You can experience Dr. de Grey‘s research in his TED Talk here: “Can We Live To Be 1.000?“.

rougheye rockfishI admit to never having heard of immortal animals and my first reaction was disbelief, followed quickly by “Okay, show me!”  We’ll get to that in a moment, but first think about the scientific ramifications.  This gives powerful support to the theory that aging is a genetic mechanism, which makes it subject to identification and manipulation.  Biochemist Cynthia Kenyon has already done this in worms by isolating and altering the gene that causes them to age, thereby doubling their normal life-span(“TED Talk“).  Now comes the opportunity to study genes that engineer immortality?  Mind blowing!

Here are a few examples to help wrap your brain around the concept of immortality:

  • There is a colony of Aspen trees in Utah, nicknamed “Pando”, that is estimated to be 80,000 years old.
  • Rougheye rockfish — 205 years
  • Aldabra Giant Tortoise—255 years
  • Lobsters are believed to live 100 or more years.
  • Hydras are observed to be biologically immortal.
  • Sea anemones generally live up to 60–80 years.
  • Freshwater pearl mussel—210–250 years
  • Ocean Quahog clam—507 years

In the meantime, while all this research is going on, if you would like to do what you can today to slow down the aging process, check out this short video on a healthy, natural and effective way to do it:

God bless

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Friday’s Quiz

Baby Boomers

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?

A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was…

A. Sugar Ray Robinson.
B. Roy Orbison.
C. Gene Autry.
D. Rudolph Valentino.
E. Fabian.
F. Mickey Mantle.
G. Cassius Clay.

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, ‘We have met the enemy and….

A. It’s you.
B. He is us.
C. It’s the Grinch.
D. He wasn’t home.
E. He’s really me and you.
F. We quit.
G. He surrendered.

4. Good night, David….

A. Good night, Chet
B. Sleep well.
C. Good night, Irene.
D. Good night, Gracie.
E. See you later, alligator.
F. Until tomorrow.
G. Good night, Steve…

5. You’ll wonder where the yellow went…

A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons.
C. When you clean your tub.
D. If you paint the room blue.
E. If you buy a soft water tank.
F. When you use Lady Clairol.
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.

6. Before he was the Skipper’s Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie’s 
friend…. 

A. Stuart Whitman.
B. Randolph Scott.
C. Steve Reeves..
D. Maynard G. Krebs.
E. Corky B. Dork.
F. Dave the Whale.
G. Zippy Zoo.

7. Liar, liar… 

A. You’re a liar.
B. Your nose is growing.
C. Pants on fire.
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher.
F. On the wire.
G. I’m telling Mom.

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and…..

A. Wheaties.
B. Lois Lane ..
C. TV ratings.
D. World peace.
E. Red tights.
F. The American way.
G. News headlines.

9. Hey kids! What time is it?

A. It’s time for Yogi Bear.
B It’s time to do your homework.
C. It’s Howdy Doody Time..
D. It’s time for Romper Room.
E. It’s bedtime.
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour..
G. Scoopy Doo Time..

10. Lions and tigers and bears….

A. Yikes.
B. Oh, no..
C. Gee whiz.
D. I’m scared…
E. Oh my.
F. Help! Help!
G. Let’s run.

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone….

A. Over 40.
B. Wearing a uniform.
C. Carrying a briefcase.
D. Over 30.
E. You don’t know.
F. Who says, ‘Trust me’..
G. Who eats tofu.

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women’s stockings…

A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F.. Steve Young
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream…

A. Smear it on.
B. You’ll smell great.
C. Tame that cowlick.
D. Grease ball heaven.
E. It’s a dream.
F. We’re your team.
G. A little dab’ll do ya.

14. I found my thrill…

A. In Blueberry muffins.
B. With my man, Bill.
C. Down at the mill.
D. Over the windowsill.
E. With thyme and dill.. 
F. Too late to enjoy.
G. On Blueberry Hill.

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by…

A. Clark Gable.
B. Mary Martin.
C. Doris Day.
D. Errol Flynn.
E. Sally Fields.
F. Jim Carrey.
G. Jay Leno.

16. Name the Beatles…

A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who…..

A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I’m strong to the finish….

A. Cause I eats my broccoli.
B. Cause I eats me spinach.
C. Cause I lift weights.
D. Cause I’m the hero.
E. And don’t you forget it.
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me.
G. To outlast Bruto.

19. When it’s least expected, you’re elected, you’re the star today……

A. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.
B. Smile, you’re on Star Search.
C. Smile, you won the lottery.
D. Smile, we’re watching you.
E. Smile, the world sees you.
F. Smile, you’re a hit.
G. Smile, you’re on TV.

20. What do M & M’s do?

A. Make your tummy happy!
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.
C. Make you fat.
D. Melt your heart.
E. Make you popular..
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
G. Come in colors.

Here are the correct answers:

1. D – Wonder Bread
2. G – Cassius Clay
3. B – He Is us
4. A – Good night, Chet
5. G – When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D – Maynard G. Krebs
7. C – Pants on fire
8. F – The American Way
9. C – It’s Howdy Doody Time
10. E – Oh my
11. D – Over 30
12. C – Joe Namath
13. G – A little dab’ll do ya
14. G – On Blueberry Hill
15. B – Mary Martin
16. G – John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D – Who wrote the book of Love
18. B – Cause I eats me spinach
19. A – Smile, you’re on Candid Camera
20. F – Melt in your mouth not in your hand

God bless

Be Kind Or Right?

kindnessI was listening to a presentation by Wayne Dyer yesterday in which he was talking about how important it is to be “kind” rather than “right” all the time.  He mentioned that acts of kindness have remarkable positive health benefits, not only for the giver and recipient, but actually for everyone who witnesses the event as well.  Intrigued by the enormous potential power in this phenomenon, I decided to take a closer look and check out the clinical relationship between kindness and health.

According to the National Institute of Health, the brain’s activity after a charitable gesture or random act of kindness (“RAK”) shows a spike in the level of oxytocin coursing through it.  This brain chemical is sometimes referred to as the “Love Hormone” as it also spikes in the early stages of falling in love.  Oxytocin has also been shown to trigger the release of nitrous oxide, which dilates blood vessels, lowers blood pressure and produces an emotional warmth that reduces anxiety.  This brain hormone is actually considered “cardio-protective” among the medical community.  David R. Hamilton, author of “Why Kindness Is Good For You”, points out that on a biochemical level, RAKs also elevate the levels of endogenous opioids, or the the body’s natural versions of morphine and heroin, producing a “Helper’s High”.  He also points out that oxytocin reduces levels of free radicals and inflammation, two primary culprits in the aging process.  Studies using the Tibetan Buddhist “Loving Kindness” meditation demonstrated a reduction in inflammation through its effect on the vagus nerve, which regulates our heart rate and bodily inflammation.

At the University of British Columbia, people with high levels of anxiety were asked to do at least 6 RAKs over the course of a week, like holding doors open, doing chores for someone, donating to charity, paying someone’s toll or buying someone a meal.   The researchers found that these RAKs led to a significant increase in people’s positive moods, higher relationship satisfaction and a decrease in social anxiety.  Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, has studied happiness for 20 years and her research shows that performing RAKs leads to the most happiness.  David McClelland, behavioral psychologist, has demonstrated that just witnessing RAKs, like Mother Teresa tending to the poor in Calcutta, can significantly boost Immunoglobulin A cells, a critical component of our immune systems.

kindnessStephen Post of Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine is president of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love.  His research on compassion and service has shown that they can delay mortality, reduce depression and increase well-being and good fortune.  Perhaps the most significant finding is that RAKs are contagious!  Much like dropping a pebble into a calm pool of water, they have a ripple effect of geometric proportions.  The health benefits mentioned herein impact not only the donor and recipient of a kind act, but also every single person who in some way witnesses the event.

So you see, your performing RAKs will have measurable health benefits of global magnitude!  To help you do your part, put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror with just the initials RAK on it as a reminder at the beginning of the day to be on the lookout for opportunities to be kind.  Then, at the end of the day, you can look at the same note and hit the sack with that warm emotional feeling and “Helpers High“.

God Bless

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Weight-loss: The Healthy Solution

With two-thirds of this country considered over-weight or obese, we are clearly in a crisis situation.  The amount of money spent by people looking for a solution to their struggle with weight is staggering and underscores the desperation many feel in trying to find an answer.  Simply put, when you knowingly engage in an activity proven to be hazardous to your health and, despite your rational desire to stop, you seem compelled to continue, that’s addiction (see “Why You’re An Addict“).  The United States has clearly become a nation of food addicts, but thankfully there is hope.  Recognizing that you (or others you know) have a problem is clearly the first step toward recovery.  I would argue that the next critical step is education and when it comes to weight control, there is overwhelming clinical evidence that points to a plant-based, whole-food diet as being the most obvious, logical and effective solution.

As for the first step, here’s the BMI chart, go ahead, be honest with yourself and see where you fall:

BMI Chart

Now comes the education.  I ran across the video below which clinically compares the average BMI of thousands of vegans, vegetarians, carnivores, and flexitarians.  The results are eye-popping and indisputable.  If you find yourself in the yellow or blue regions above, or care about someone who you suspect does, you’ll find the solution here:

God bless

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Courtroom Humor?

courthumorThe courtroom is not a place you typically associate with laughter, but some of these are priceless and you can’t help but admire the quick wit of some of these witnesses.  Have a great weekend!

IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER.
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place:

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

God bless

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